Been busy lately... been watching the korean drama My Girl on You Tube. Unfortunately, I feel bad that they took out the ones with English subtitles because of some copywrite orders. Huhu!

     Another thing that I am getting addicted about is the news regarding the World Cup 2006. Korea is the only Asian country which is still on the game. Ofcourse, happy ako to hear about it. But if the Philippines will be a part of this game, I will be cheering Mabuhay instead. Hehe! kahit ganyan ang Pinas, puno ng negative things, love ko pa rin. But it doesn't change the fact that I wanted to leave for a better greens. Hehe!

    Speaking of games, lapit na ang boxing match ni Pacquiao. I want to watch it live but the tickets are, let's just say, way too expensive for me. Pambili na ng ticket yun papunta Bora. Hay! Ang buhay nga naman.... Hopefully, manalo si Pacquiao. Panoorin ko na lang sa bahay though ofcourse di na live ang coverage.

     I have been trying to learn how to cook Filipino main dishes. Himala! So far, so good. Kung dati laging palpak, ngayon kahit pano ay nagkaroon na ng pagasa ang future ko. Kaya ko na magadobo, sweet and sour and bistek. Takot pa ko magtry ng mahihirap kasi baka masayang lang ang pagkain. Slowly but surely ang aking strategy. Lam ko na rin pala magluto ng spaghetti! Ang dali lang pala. Kala ko sobrang hirap. Hehe! Gusto ko nga mamili ng mga recipe books pero for sure tatamarin ako magluto ulit kaya isa na muna sa ngayon. Bwahaha!

     I have so much promises for myself this year. Pero so far, konti lang pumapalya. Tipong 7 out of 10 are being kept. Isa lang talaga ang mahirap, ang magdiet! Another thing, mahirap din magsave for the rainy days... Ang gastos dito sa Manila. Everyday I am taking the taxi because of the traumatic experience I had. Di ko nga lam kung kelan mawawala ang takot ko.

     I watched XMen III already. Frankly, the movie was great! Some find it not so great especially for the people who really are Xmen fanatic. They were expecting more. But for me, I think the movie was exciting and Wolverine is really hot! Hehe!

     Hmmm... rainy days are here again. Don't like rain but I have to live with it. Ganyan talaga. Sana lang wag na magbaha. Bili nga pala dapat ako ng payong...

As they say, after feeling elated, you will feel blue. That is how I feel today.

Let¡¯s go down to memory lane¡¦

Yesterday, my officemates (Donna, Jerilee, Jefray, Ysa, Maria, Rose), together with me and my boyfriend. went to the biggest mall in Asia--- SM Mall of Asia. It was really grand and splendid. We went there after work since it was also our payday. It was almost five when we got there. We were awed by its grandeur and magnificence. As was decided earlier that day, we want to eat at Kamayan, Saisaki and Dad¡¯s. Our minds were set to go on a quest to search for that restaurant. However, after going round and round the mall and feet aching, we gave up the search. Only Jefray got the spirit to move around to save us all the agony of the endless hunt. He asked and to no avail, the resto was still close. Waaaaahhhhh!

We were famished and frustrated. We opted to eat at Super Bowl instead. The order came promptly and promptly, the food vanished right before our eyes. We were like starved children who just had their first meal after a long time of deprivation.

Some went home after eating. It was called eat and run literally. For those who were left, we went for ice skating. Unfortunately for me, I fell down twice and I just held tight for dear life at the side holding the rails. What rails? Ooopps! No rails!

I just end up feeling frustrated but happy that I was able to try something new. It was a good experience.

This morning, as I was walking on my way to work, I was reminiscing of what a great day it was yesterday. We were exhausted but we had fun. When I was about to hit the corner where I was supposed to take the jeepney, a man grabbed me from behind, he put his arm around me and pointed a knife on my neck. I was so scared! He told me to give him my cell phone and money. Oh dear! Not my cell phone! I just had it last March 31. A hard-earned money is a hard- spent money. It was difficult for me to part with my precious phone. I was the one who was able to buy it because of my tutorials. I can¡¯t even tell my parents of what happened because they will surely worry. I do not need to bombard them with more worries. I can do this!

When the man went away, he was able to get my cell phone and some money. People will always say that it is okay to be apart from material things, the important thing is I am still alive and breathing. However, that is beside the point. I understand that I should be glad that was the only thing that happened to me. But no, it doesn¡¯t make me feel better. It will take time before I get to forget what happened to me. I feel very bad.  

May seems to be a wonderful month for birthdays. I have a lot of friends celebrating their birthdays on this month. First off,  is the birthday of my friend, Honey. I was not able to greet her. I have no idea it was her birthday until I read her entries on her blog. Sorry about that Honey! I'll keep your birthday in mind.

Others who are celebrating their birthdays are Ara and Christa. My officemate Tom also celebrated his birthday in a very unique way. He wore a costume! Wonder where he is in the picture?

Ofcourse, to save the best for last, it is my pumpkin's birthday today but we celebrated his day yesterday because of his schedule. He has a review tomorrow and would not have time to go out after since his class will be until 9:30pm.

Yesterday, I went to Red Ribbon and bought him a cake without candles. I forgot about the candles! I have a vision of seeing him blowing off the candles on his cake. It was my first time to buy a cake for someone. Haha! How sweet of me!

I wanted to have his complete name printed on the cake but his name is too long! The cake was not that big enough to accomodate all the alphabets. Geez!^_-

My friend, Donna, accompanied me to buy the cake. Thanks o her because if not for her I would have stayed in the bakery for a longer time trying to figure what type of cake would be best for him.

I took the taxi on the way to their house. He was the one who opened the gate and he was surprised that I bought him a cake. Haha!^-^

Their helper has no idea that it was Yek's birthday. She thought it was my birthday. I told her that it was I who made the cake. Haha! I should be an actress.^-^

The cake was delicious! Yum! Love chocolates! We ate the cake for our merienda while we watch tv. Mmmm... I miss watching tv! I have no tv in my apartment...

By seven, we went out to eat. We have no idea what we want to eat because we are not really hungry. The cake was a little heavy in the stomach. We ended up at Burgoo. And for us who said we are still full, I guess we were just fooling ourselves. We ordered food good for an army. American serving talaga! This is gluttony!

Since we ordered a lot, we were not able to finish everything up.

When a person is full, he will end up sleepy. That's how I felt. I want to sleep!

He took me home and we said goodbyes. I was very sleepy that I was not able to greet him at 12 midnight. It was my intention to be the first to greet him at the strike of midnight. Too bad!

Nevertheless, I am glad that we were able to somewhat patch things up between us. Therefore, I conclude that it is always the woman who handles the relationship. (Where did that come from?) =P

Nothing could be more depressing than having problems and I think I am bombarded with them—financial problem, heart problem and a lot more. However, just this week, we had some serious family problem. My parents did not mention it but it is something that is bothering me for the past couple of days. If only I could do something for them¡¦

Yesterday, my sister and I headed for Makati to process her job application. It was her first time to look for a job and I wanted to be there for her. Millions of graduates are excited to be eaten up by the big companies. I know how nervous she was. After the interview, I could see from her eyes that she is tired and apprehensive about how her application went. She applied as a cabin crew. It was only a pre- screening test and they were asking her to come back for an interview. I am very excited about it but she said not to say anything to anyone unless she is actually hired. Hmmm¡¦. Oopps! I'm keeping my fingers cross.

Before heading home, we decided to drop by one of the other airlines to submit her resume. We took an fx taxi. My sister checked on her cell phone and she said that she has an empty battery. She returned it to her bag and then voila, that was the last time we saw it.

The cell phone was a gift from my brother in law. It has a sentimental value. Worst, we cannot even tell my parents about the incident because they already have some problems on their own. I hope things will get better at home.

On the positive note, losing a phone is better than losing people you love. I just hope we will be able to buy a similar phone at a cheaper price so my parents will be oblivious of the incident.

Last Friday was Children's Day and Buddha's Day in Korea. We took this opportunity to have fun under the sun and go back to being children.

We had our company outing in Matabungkay, Batangas. Meeting time was 7 in the morning and I came 5 minutes late. I was supposed to arrive with Cresta but she was not able to wake up early because she came from the afternoon shift.

When I got to our meeting place, all except three were there. Big breakfast from Mc Donalds was already prepared. Yum!

On our way, we were all elated and excited. Everyone was hungry to shell out their own stories. We rattled on and on. We didn¡¯t realized that we were already there. It was not quite as I was expecting but the place was good and the attendants were accommodating.

My former student, Peter, was very excited to see me. I was thrilled to see him too. He remembered me! He hugged and kissed me. He went with me to my room and he was very talkative. He has so much stories and questions. He is still so cute and charming! We played a little and when lunch was prepared we had to go down from our room to eat. Peter went with his mom.

I enjoyed lunch though the rice was still a little raw. The serving was too much that we were not able to finish everything up. I assigned the groups for our games. I was the game master. Haha! Funny because I really wanted to play but I have to be the one in charge of the games.

After the games we went swimming until it¡¯s time to eat once again. Dinner was so full that I could hardly move. Haha! Diet was forgotten. We had the awarding of the winners and some presentations about the new book we have.

I went to bed and Peter came with me. He wanted to see cartoons. I was tired and I fell asleep with Peter beside me. His mom carried him away from me when I was already in deep sleep.

The next day, the morning team was already up and about. We went swimming as early as eight. Breakfast was served at ten. We showered and prepared for our departure. We had a lot of picture taking.

On our way home, our boss decided to treat us for lunch at Leslie¡¯s in Tagaytay. More food and more picture taking! I bought some Sylvanias. Yummy!

.

Everything went well. It was a wonderful time and we sure had a great time.

Bakit daw ba hirap ako magmove on at kalimutan ang mga nangyari na? Bakit nga ba? Hirap nga ng ganito kasi lagi ako nagtitimpi di magalit o magtampo man lang. Sino ba kasi may sabi na dapat kimkimin ang galit? Diba mas maganda kung nailalabas mo agad kung ano man nararamdaman mo? Kung tiis lang daw ng tiis, naiipon at isang araw ay sasabog na lang... mas matindi pa.

Gusto ko na ng manahimik. Lagi na lang ba ganito ang mangyayari? Hahayaan ko ba na kainin ng panahon ang aking galit hangang sa mawala na lang? Pwede kaya mangyari ang mawalan ka ng emosyon at lumutang ka lang sa hangin na parang high sa drugs? Kung hahayaan ko lamunin na lang ng dagat itong sakit na nararamdaman ko, sana ok na ako ngayon. Ano ba dapat ko gawin?

Ginagawa ko ang lahat para inindihin ka. Syempre ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko pero minsan napapaisip ako kung dapat ba ay manhid na lang ako parang maging masaya.

The week it was was not a good one. Let me count the ways...

Career wise, I had been late three times this month and in the office, we are only allowed to be late three times. The deduction is not even per minute, it is fix. First offense, warning. Second offense, P100. Third, P200, Fourth, dismissal. San ka pa!? Makatwiran ba ito? Waah! Another thing, I have too much load and sometimes it is hard to manage my time more effectively in feeding my students with good information and materials. I don't like losing my students on my list but I would not blame them if they feel that I am no longer an effective instructor.

Lovelife, no improvement. No time to see each other even for a cup of coffee. No time to even text more than five times a day. No phone calls unless imposed. Sigh! What has become of us?

Social life, I met my previous bestfriend but we didn't talk much about serious stuff because we are still trying to fill in the hole. It was an ackward expereince but I hope things will get better soon. Probably we could again soon!

Money, getting by but because of pressure from family, I shell out my savings leaving me with none. It is hard to become a responsible daughter and sister.

Friend or foe? I really do not know. I am not sure if she is just like this or she is trying to piss me off. She pushes me around like some sort of a bully. She raises her eyebrows when I am saying something about work. I am not saying I am better but I could definitely say, I am prettier. Haha!

Health wise, I have been suffering tummy trouble for the last couple of days and I took different medicines already but none proves to be effective. I am still in the process of figuring what's going on inside my stomach. Being sick has a high price, Hope things get better.

Hope everything gets better.

Who does he think he is? God? He cannot just meet me up just when he feels like it. He headed off to Tacloban without even seeing nor hearing from me. We had a fight days before he left and then after a couple of days he will text me and say that he will go home to his hometown. I am really being taken for granted.

He asked for another chance. He said that he would change. He asked me to pick a day between Monday to Wednesday for us to meet. He said it is just a temporary set up until he took the bar. He even said if this thing won't work out in two weeks, then I could have my freedom and he will concede. How can it work in two weeks when we only meet once a week? Limited time because I go to work and he goes to his review. He has been like this since January. We will have a petty quarrel and will end up big because it will take him weeks before he remembers me. Those were times when he has no one to talk with and realize,"Oops, I just remembered. I have Joan, my contractual girlfriend."

No, no, no! Never again... I hope... I always say this but end up weak.

I am not asking too much time. I just want him to text or call me regularly. See me when he has time and not on a scheduled basis. He has time to see his friends more often than he sees me.

Some of my friends are saying that he might be seeing another woman but I don't think so. He is not handsome to get a woman hook on him. Anyway, I don't care anymore whether he is interested in someone else. I just want him to say that he can let me go so I could move on.

When you wake up very early and you feel that you have all the time in the world, our movement is very slow. However, when you feel like youare pressured with time, you do things very fast and sometimes, surprisingly, even better.

I had been late twice this week. (What's new?) I wake up really early but end up going out of the apartment late because I move too slow. To add to my burden, I get to wait for my transpo for about ten whole minutes! My route is from Sampaloc to San Juan and San Juan going to Meralco. There are times that getting a ride is a breeze but there are also times when you feel getting to work would be easier if I just walk.

Whew!

Anyway, today is supposedly our 5 years and 5 months of being together. But again, like any other months, we are not in good terms as always. I want to break this chain but it is so hard. I can't help doubting and feeling very disappointed when I expect something from him. Change is said to be constant but he doesn't want to reform to that change.

I need a break. I want to go and have a vacation but I could not afford one since I have my money on a budget again. No more racket for me! My priorities will remain. So for now, I must entertain myself with watching fake dvds and eating bread.

It's hard to be alone in the apartment. I do not have any tv, no internet, no books, no new dvds.. I feel sad that I have no one to talk with when I get home. Home alone! Hope my new room mate will soon come so I could have someone to talk with...

It is a great fulfillment for my parents that they were able to make us finish college. Knowing how hard time is, they were able to give us a good life and we will be eternally grateful for that.

Unfortunately, my dad was not able to come to my sister's graduation because of his arthritis. He could not walk properly. I feel for him. My older sister and her husband were not also present because they are in another country. My so-called boyfriend was not also there to join the celebration and his reason is private... I cannot help but feel angry whenever there is a special ocassion in the family and he is not there. I cannot help but compare him with my sister's boyfriend who came all the way from Baguio to share the special day with our youngest sister.

My mom was disappointed to learn that my boyfriend who is just a few kilometers away could not make it. I do not know what to say to make up an excuse for him. So, I didn't. I just said, he does not want to come.

I treated my family and friends to dinner at Blue Wave. Just a shame that my dad was not there..

Here are the pictures.

Manila Hotel

picture taking while waiting for the ceremony to finish

papormal

pacute

my mom and my sister ^-^

at Blue Wave

Big Buddha

My sister said now that she graduated, she does not know what is next. Well, it is natural that you will feel at lost when it is your first time to look for a job.